A combination of delicious, mostly organic groceries and cheap prices has made Trader Joe’s one of the most popular grocery stores in the country, and New York City is no exception. New Yorkers love a good deal, and that means most of the time TJ’s can be as crowded and uncomfortable as the Lexington Avenue line during rush hour.

Are you convinced that the pre-packed Carrot and Cilantro Bulgar Grain Salad and bottle of Two-Buck Chuck is really worth braving the after-work crowds? Then Godspeed, my friend. Because this is not a game. Navigating this crowd will take endurance, patience, and quick footedness…and the few hacks below.

The line at Trader Joe's

The line at Trader Joe’s. (Source: Troy via Flickr Creative Commons)

Do hold a place in line. It may not be entirely kosher, but this is a dog-eat-dog world. If you happen to be shopping with another person, one of you may innocently put a few items in your cart and get in line while the other person casually continues to shop around the store. Then: Steadily avoid eye contact with others.

Don’t skip. It’s one thing to tag team your spot in line with a friend; it is an entirely other thing to outright skip. Don’t do it. It’s a bad look all around.

Do know the lay of the land. If this is your local Trader Joe’s, try to remember where everything is located in the store before you arrive. Each aisle is a potential human traffic jam waiting to trap you, so it’s important to know which ones you can avoid. If you don’t know where something is, ask a TJ’s employee. Don’t wander.

Don’t go in downtime. Do not fool yourself – there’s no such thing as popping into Trader’s Joes. It always takes longer than you anticipate. If you’re trying to squeeze in a trip to TJ’s between work and a 6:30 spin class – skip it.

Don’t break your back. Don’t go to TJ’s when you’ve already done other errands and are carrying many other bags. Trying to navigate the crowds while schlepping other shopping bags around followed by standing on line laden down with said shopping bags, plus all your groceries will leave your shoulders sore, your arms weak and you all together depleted of the will to go on.

Do dress for the occasion. That means comfy shoes – high heels are not conducive to grocery shopping. Avoid the temptation to go post-sweaty workout. Your misery index will skyrocket if your feet hurt or you’re getting dank and clammy in your sweaty Lycra.

The wait at the Trader Joe's on 14th Street near Union Square

The wait at the Trader Joe’s on 14th Street near Union Square. (Source: Christopher Porter via Flickr Creative Commons)

Don’t go to the Union Square TJs. During the post-work crush, it’s all about location, location, location. If you happen to live near the Chelsea or Upper West Side locations, shop there instead of hitting up Union Square after work. Avoid Union Square at all costs.

Do use your time wisely while in line. Have a finite task you can do in the 15 minutes you will inevitably be waiting on line. Instead of continuously refreshing Instagram or getting sucked into the latest Twitter war, use that 15 minutes wisely. Write an email. Make a dentist appointment. Call your Aunt Ruth. It will pass the time and clear out some items on your to-do list.

Do say ‘yes’ to cash back. If the check-out clerk asks if you want to cash back, say ‘yes’ even you don’t think you do. You’re better off some cash sans-ATM-fee as opposed to scrambling to find a bodega the next time you find yourself with an empty wallet.

Don’t double bag. This isn’t really a hack, it’s just good for the environment. Do the right thing; don’t double bag, be kind to mother Earth and bring your own canvas tote.

Do think twice. I know you think you need to go shopping after work. But do you, really?? Weekdays from 5-8 pm are the single-worst time to try to fight the crowds. Consider making a quick trip at lunchtime instead.

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