Holiday Tipping- I'm Stuck

How about, rather than the passive-aggressive approach of "tipping" to indicate your displeasure with the level of service, you contact the building management directly?

If you knew me the last thing i am is passive aggresive. I have had several conversation with the person himself and with the building management on several occasions. I am trying to take the high road and think they are working the kinks out.

Then why are you even entertaining the idea of "tipping" someone who's not even doing their job well?

Is it normal to tip the building manager? I've never heard of that. Does it matter if the building manager is onsite or offsite?

matt- i think i said in my original post i know how you feel. thank you for your input

the building manager is kind of like the super in this case..
he manages the building, service requests, ect

If you've already tried several times to resolve the issue with the bldg mgr and still nothing is being done, then a letter explaining the situation to him, what it would take to resolve it, and the fact that if satisfactorily resolved, you are normally quite generous when it comes to tipping, would give the mgr an incentive. I'd recommend giving nothing this year, as you are displeased. This is not like a restaurant where the job is added tips - the bldg mgr is on salary, and some of your fellow tenants don't tip at all based on principle, finances, etc. Again, the bldg mgr is not in the same situation as your restaurant waiter.

Bubbles, do you live in a small building with a very small staff? Do you have to deal with the building manager/super to have things repaired or can you go directly to a handyman? Also do you own or rent? Are you planning on leaving the building in the near future or is this a long term situation where you will be dealing with this person for many years? I think we might need a little more background in your case to help you determine whether to give this person a tip and in what amount.

Hey Bubbles that is a tough situation you are in. I can understand why you wouldnt want to tip but if you dont it might make things more unpleasant for you in the future. Have they even sent a handyman up to look at what is wrong? Have you tried mentioning to some of the board members the experiences you have been having?

Thanks Lobster here is the scoop... Brand new luxury building and i own so will be there for awhile. I moved into that type of building because i expected things to go smoothly and get good service. I understand things go wrong in a new building but the service is so spotty. Sometimes if takes 2 seconds, other times days/weeks of follow up, scheduling and nothing...
He just stands there smiles and says we are trying to help and trying to make you happy. I think he means it but is just in way over his head. The board was just elected late oct so i am waiting until after the holidays to address this as i know i am not the only one.
I moved into the building in dec and gave him $100... what do i do this year??
i'm stuck!

Give him $0 - what kind of message are you sending him if you tip when he knows you are unhappy with the sevice you are receiving? You will receive worse service if you tip him now. Play hardball - tip him a few moths down the line when all your concerns are resolved to your satisfaction.

What about ... "staff is nice" so give them fairly good tips. Give the manager $25 dollars as a token & if things make a dramatic turnaround, you can always tip then or wait till next year.

thanks for the info, and i think kevin5 just proved what everyone feels but no one admits to...

but if you dont it might make things more unpleasant for you in the future.

is it worth the $50-$75 dollars to get even worse service? i have always viewed tipping as a type of insurance policy. what does everyone (except matt) think. what a stinky system- i have NEVER not tipped in 20 years of living in nyc

Again with the tipping in order to prevent bad service. And so the shakedown mentality continues.....

hey bubbles I think it all depends on what type of person the building manager is. If he is a fair person then it wouldnt matter what you give him. if he is all about money then im sure you might get less treatment by not tipping him.

I remember reading about a woman who traveled a lot for business & she said that she always tipped well "to buy goodwill". What is your 'take' on the manager? Is he venal or just a good guy in a bad situation? Certainly, saying 'the situation has been so awful, here's 5 bucks' is different from saying, 'the situation has been awful, perhaps for both of us, I'm going to give you this (50? 75? 100?) & here's hoping the situation improves'. Under the circumstances, I guess I still lean toward tipping him on the low side. Best of luck & let us know what happens.

Is NYCMAtt and NYCROBOT the same person with 2 usernames? Seems like a coincidence that they are both stingy crackpots?

If your super isn't doing a good job, and you have attempted to rectify the situation--and things don't improve. Then, I am not sure if it is considered "stingy" not to tip, EZrenter. In fact, I would think many, if not most, people in the same situation would choose not to tip at all.

Bubbles, you are like me--you are uncomfortable not tipping, even if the service is horrible. But consider this: Most of your neighbors are probably not tipping him or tipping very little (sometimes people give non-cash gifts...you know, items they re-gift), assuming that their experience w/ him has been similar to yours. So, $50 or even $25 may be perfectly good.

Our bldg. (self-identified luxury bldg.) had a similar issue last year--the super was horrendously lazy, mean and disorganized, and nothing got done. He'd get mad if the handymen went ahead and fixed things--saying that they needed his permission to do so. I spoke to some of our neighbors, and nobody tipped him (as far as I know). Earlier this year, he was replaced because enough people complained. I wonder why people feel compelled to reward someone's bad behavior by tipping him--$100, no less...

The guy is very nice and does try, i just think he is in way way over his head. he smiles and has a baby face so everyone loves him... he is creating a culture where everyone thinks he is the guy to go to to get things done. and effective manager should manage the staff, not have everyone going to him on every little thing. i think i will tip $100, work with the board to try and improve things and if they do not next year my tipping behavior will change.