Help, I've fallen and I can't get up

excelsior!

another assessment and monthlies will equal rent in this place

question: if monthlies=rent, what should sale price be?

From $1,795,000 , increased to $ $2,500,000 one month later?!
Then down to $1,999,000 a couple of weeks later.

Crazy numbers.

Beautiful apartment, wrong building.

Eh, there's a lid for every pot, including the Excelsior.

Those giant room sizes, stunning views, and incredible white-glove service would appeal to my client base, only my people tend to have dogs that are too large for the house rules of this building.

However, the positives are certainly for someone.

ali r.
DG Neary Realty

Toxic land leases. Yuck. If you want to rent, rent. If you want to buy, buy. But the financial gymnastics you have to contemplate to justify anchoring yourself to a lead weight like this are for the insane imo. Life is complicated enough.

I have no listing in this building -- and thus no horse (or maybe I should say "purse-sized dog") in this fight.

But if you're going to stay there for 15 years, you're paying the equivalent of $17,000/month to rent a 3-BR plus maid's, with a little outdoor space, at a height where you have views of two states, with a fifty-foot living/dining space, in a building where they push the revolving door for you.

Complicated, sure. But I don't know as I'd go all the way to "insane."

The lid has had since Feb.2009 to find this pot.

Check out this one, on my favorite block: http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sale/652992-coop-420-east-51st-street-beekman-new-york. Appropriately discounted for high maintenance? Note that I have no interest in this particular unit, but I follow everything for sale on that block of 51st.

Have any co-ops bought their lease out?

I like it. Nobody looking right at you from next door while you're on the terrace.

Truth, LOL.

That would be important to me, ali.
I'd rather look at a brick wall than somebody watching me from their window or terrace.
I lika da privacia!

I'm with you in this, Truth - I have enough of this in my building as it is:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_BGPyjTVrBbE/TLolE4ko7nI/AAAAAAAAAKs/vqxZVcx4NF8/s1600/gladys_kravitz.jpg

walpurgis: LOL!!!LOL!!!LOL!!!

Today when I was coming in with the dogs, there she was in the lobby, sitting on one of the chairs by the table, cross-legged while opening her mail, replete with running commentary. This is a major part of her daily ritual, which (of course) she is completely clueless to understand that NO ONE GIVES A FLYING #$%*!!! And as if that weren't bad enough, she proceeds to babble on (I swear, she MUST be from Babylon) about some stupid segment she saw on the news about teaching dogs to drive! AND how she left me message on my voicemail about it yesterday. When I told her I didn't check in for messages, she started going on (& on) about how "hard it is to believe I didn't check my voicemail". Well GUESS WHAT, GLADYS?!? Of COURSE I heard her ridiculous messsage, in that clucking cawing voice of hers: AND I DELETED IT HALFWAY THROUGH! That's right - as soon as I heard "dogs driving" I swearmy blood pressure must have soared higher than that guy who jumped from space. This is a person who also worships "The View" - another cacklefest - & if it isn't on The View, well, either it didn't happen or it's just not newsworthy. "Oh, you know, Whoopie says that...& Joyce feels strongly about...& Barbara, oh! She's going to try to..." & blah, blah @#$%& blah... Am I glad she doesn't live on my floor, because rest assured, like another classic TV character, she'd have her ear to my door & fall into the room like Ethel Mertz did when Lucy opened her apartment door. Sits in front of the elevators, remarking about what floor it's coming down from, guessing who might be on it - & if she's right - well, watch out! She'll ambush that person, excitedly telling them how she just KNEW it was them coming down! Yes, I've been ambushed as well. SICK! BUT WAIT: THERE'S MORE: The scenarios she conjurs up about the residents, the majority of which who want nothing to do with her, courtesy of her renowned reputation. When I've told her (on occasions too numerous to count), she gives me what I've come to describe "the human bobble head shrug" together with a "Oh yeah, well ummm, mmm, hmm..." clucking. We used to (key "USED TO") go out to eat, but that's way too aggravating to even go into here. Let's just say, never says Please or Thank You; just "Gimme". Proceeds to tell the waiter the reasons she can't eat seeds (diverticulosis) followed by a lengthy & detailed DESCRIPTION OF THE CONDITION! Yes; I'm sure the waiter is extremely interested. Complains about all her friends, some of whom I've had the "pleasure" of meeting, & I would have to say that's the only thing I concur with her on: They're TOTALLY WHACKED! When I came into the lobby today, suffice it to say she was the LAST person I wanted to deal with. Perhaps only a minute into her babbleogue, the words faded into a parrot cawing, while her head dissolved into that of a parrot as well. I finally had to excuse myself - get away from her ASAP - my head felt like the time-lapse of Jiffy Pop - only in this case, left on tbe burner for way too long...I can't make this stuff up; that creative I'm not!!!

Perhaps someone could convince her to move to 33G at the Excelsior.

If she does, I'll buy her a high powered telescope as a housewarming gift, which, from her vantage point (or in her case, "perch"), she can zoom in on everyone's business in the WHOLE @#$%&*/ TRI-STATE AREA!

For that coveted privilege alone, she'd gladly pay the exorbitant monthly maintenance - or, more accurately, the "Yenta Premium".

walpurgis: She sounds like the board member who sat in the lobby of my former condo building every day.
She used to glare at me as I walked in and out of the building.
Then she got sick and she was stuck in her apartment.
Then she died.

I saw her coming home from the doctor the evening before she died.
I like to think that my face was the last she saw.

Take my hand brother...
come in off the ledge...
the human condition...fragile, at best

Whoa, Truth: We have one like that as well; as bad as the one I described yesterday (longest post ever...sorry!) at least she isn't a mean spirited b***h like our version of your dearly (yeah, right) departed neighbor.

Nasty, curses at people under her breath, picks fights, spit on previously described neighbor in the street, slapped yet another in the laundry room. More than once deliberately steered her ever-present shopping cart into a dementia suffering neighbor (yet another "lobbyist": but at least she has an excuse. The shopping cart has recently been replaced with a rolling walker, so at least - & please, G-d forgive me - we're on the right track.

This "thing" has had a host of complaints reported to management & the board - & yet, she stays. From what I heard, she came from the Bronx (like "It Came from Outer Space"), with her mother back in the eighties as renters, the mother made the purchase as an insider & darling daughter is still here. I also heard that, believe it or not, the mother was a very nice person! So what the @#$% happened?!?

wow--you seem to have a lot of neighbor issues

Only two - which, as you can clearly see - is more than enough!

walpurgis: Yes, two is more than enough.
The fartig board member used to sit there and one of the doormen would whisper in her ear as residents came in and out of the building. She would respond to his whispering in a loud voice:
"We certainly don't need THAT in the building!",while coughing her wheezy laughter.

When I told some neighbors that she finally died, we sang a chourus of:
Ding-dong the witch is dead.

$8k a month in maintenance is a bit steep, but then again, every night you get to waltz into that beautiful lobby and gaze up at those chandeliers. So elegant and expensive and bursting with class!!

http://www.hulu.com/watch/10329

buster: "If you're ready for the high class life", and ben-wa balls!

Indeed, Truth: I already have it cued up & ret' to go when SHE does!!!

...& bursting one's budget to to so...

And Truth: Just one more thing, regarding neighbor # 2: I'm thoroughly convinced she absolutely gloats & revels in the fact she's a senior citizen, & no one dares to touch her or do anything about her. To me, that's an absolute travesty.

Same thing with yours with the whispering: I have to give credit to ANYONE who can exercise restraint not to jump on that individual right then & there ending everyone's misery (except, unfortunately, for their own, as their legal nightmare would only be just beginning).

But you know what? These individuals qre ALREADY being punished - by virtue of their very own miserable existance.

walpurgis:
She went from sitting there in the lobby to walking around with an oxygen tank and those plugs in her nostrils.
Then she went to the hospital and came back in a wheelchair.
It was a big secret what happened to her and she didn't attend regular board meetings or the yearly unit owners meetings.

While they were keeping her on ice in her apt. the board president dropped dead. He used to like to give me the stink-eye whenever I saw him. I would look right back at him until he turned away.
The last time I saw him, he was stink-eyeing me from down the street as I approached from the other direction.
As we passed I looked directly at him until he turned his head.
He died a few days later.

So,that was two stink-eyers down.

Excelsior!

Lid for every pot. That's funny. Like an azz for every car seat. Car salesman, apt salesman. But I do not recall ever meeting a Harvard educated car salemsman. Hmmmmm.

Well Truth, like I've said time & again to friends & neighbors: These same or similar scenarios must play out in every building
across the city, & probably beyond.

#1 would NEVER miss a board meeting, nor the opportunity to make herself look & sound like an idiot with her petty gripes & questions.

#2 at least has the sense (or self preservation instincts) NOT to show up.

And to think I was the only one living in Stink Eye Central...

The stinky-eyes are around town.
The exception being kylewest's co-op where everything is exceptional.

Yikes, I mean Walpurgis - You ARE that creative.