Rufus Has Finally Gotten Into Columbia!

Yes, it's true. The Psychiatric Unit at Columbia Prebyterian Medical Center has decided to accept Rufus for an "extended stay and evaulation." Their spokesperson says that, "this will finally help Rufus get over his crushing defeat at the hands of Columbia University's admissions staff and will allow him to tell people that he went to Columbia in NYC and not be lying." As far as his long-term... [more]

Yes, it's true. The Psychiatric Unit at Columbia Prebyterian Medical Center has decided to accept Rufus for an "extended stay and evaulation." Their spokesperson says that, "this will finally help Rufus get over his crushing defeat at the hands of Columbia University's admissions staff and will allow him to tell people that he went to Columbia in NYC and not be lying." As far as his long-term prognosis goes, the spokesperson admitted that, "Rufus is pretty messed-up. He will spend the rest of his days here in a safe environment. Our hope is that by keeping him here we can free Streeteasy, Curbed and several other websites of his delusional rants about how great Chicago is. This is a very sick young man. I mean, who would ever think that Chicago is better than NYC at anything, right?" The Mayor of Chicago also released a brief statement saying, "Please take Rufus out of Chicago and lock him up. He is making Chicago look like an even bigger piece of crap than it is. Damn, New York City is great. I wish I could live there. Chicago sucks." [less]