leaving nyc - ask us final column

Once you’ve called NYC home, it’s home forever. (Alexander Spatari/Getty Images)

Question: What happens when you leave New York City?

—Living on the Left Coast Now

Dear Living:

You can’t leave New York City. It won’t let you.

Yes, of course, you can move your body and belongings anywhere, but you can’t really leave NYC. It follows you. Whether you’re a native or, like most of us, you chose to live here, New York is in you and all around you, wherever you go.

Manhattan Rentals Under $3,500 Article continues below

Intellectually and emotionally, becoming a New Yorker is a kind of rebirth. Whether you started out in San Diego or Memphis, Manhasset or Secaucus, once you have thoroughly amalgamated yourself within New York, you can no more disassociate yourself from your New Yorkishness than you can change the composition of your DNA. New York becomes a part of who you are — quick, focused, determined, smart, aware, self-assured, all of the positive energies that make us who we are and make the rest of America call us “rude,” “bossy,” “aggressive,” or “overly ambitious.” Like those are bad things.

That’s just interior New York. Outwardly, New York culture is American culture, and much of the world’s as well. It’s the only city in the world with such a vast reach. Nowhere can you go to escape the city’s presence in media, news, popular culture, advertising, art, drama, music, books, politics, business, finance, science, fashion, education, food, architecture, design, or other creative and intellectual efforts. (Before you rant about how the city is so out of step with the “real America” between the coasts, just remember that both Donald Trump and Fox News come from New York.)

Manhattan 1-2BRs Under $1M on StreetEasy Article continues below

So you may be living on the other side of the continent now, but your attitude and your way of expressing yourself will always reveal who you really are. You’ll jaywalk in Portland without giving it a second thought. You’ll absentmindedly wait for a green light to make a right turn in Los Angeles. In Seattle, you’ll order coffee “regular” and what they call a bagel with a “schmear.” You’ll stand on line at Tartine Bakery in San Francisco.

And someday, someone somewhere will casually ask you where you’re from. You’ll answer without a moment’s hesitation, “New York.”

David Crook is a veteran journalist and author of The Complete Wall Street Journal Real-Estate Investing and Homeowner’s Guidebooks. Note: Nothing in this column should be considered professional legal advice. If you have a legal issue, consult an attorney.

A note from the author: This is my last Ask Us column. Thank you all for reading and writing in over the years. I also want to thank the folks at Zillow and StreetEasy for their support, especially my former editor Diane Tuman, who gave me the opportunity to write the column, and her successor, Ian Port.


Inspired to find your next place in New York? Whether you’re looking to rent or to buy, search NYC apartments on StreetEasy.