Selling NYC on HGTV

TiVo, will be watching tomorrow and seeing what the brokers who put a $10M price on a $1M apartment do.

Too choppy, bouncing too much between the Core people and the Kleiers.

Must've been shot last September. The apartment the Kleiers got the listing for is this one: http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sale/464918-coop-1125-park-avenue-carnegie-hill-new-york. Still on the market.

The Kleiers live downstairs in 3C.

I started watching it and had to turn it off...

fun, thanks. taping later showing, will watch tomorrow.
julia - why did you turn it off. that bad?

Bad. R.E.porn, outdated at that.

My take is here, commenters welcome: http://bit.ly/9PcRCv

ali r.

Thanks for the reminder, just set the dvr.

Ali,

Nice review. Can't comment on substantive points cuz haven't seen it yet. But, I loved the LA show with the 3 brokers: that was RE porn!

$2.3mm for 1359 sf on the Bowery?? barf. stupid.

"we have a Polish Prince who moved in". uck. bleh.

Awful show. In fact I know the broker from CORE he tried to sell me a property at 88 Greenwich couple years back at the height of the market. Knowing what these people are like in person makes this show a bigger farse. I like how he mentioned he sat next to Jude Law at a restaurant ... who cares.

The show was weak. I've most of these brokers and they are very impressed with themselves but I'm not.:) Good luck to them.

I was hooked the moment there was doubt about the foot bath being filled in time for the party ("I'm counting on you" x 2)

I watched part of it. It was ghoulish. A horror show. Right up there with "Saw" and "Night of the Living Dead." These characters were scarier than zombies and would eat their own flesh before they were even dead. Absolutely disgusting.

I watched it - made me want to puke. So shallow, so superficial. "Come on, girls" to the dogs!

Please.

The Polish prince thing cracked me up. There's got to be a joke in "Polish Royalty."

And in any case, the last time Poland was a kingdom was 1569. Otherwise, it was part of Germany or Russia, until after WWI, when it was a republic.

"I ate lunch next to Jude Law."

Whoopdie! I saw Nathan Lane on 49th Street on Tuesday. TALK ABOUT ROYALTY! What a queen!

Oh - did anybody but me notice that the only people "buying" on that show were other real estate agents?

Goddawful.

they had to end the show with "a sale", so the idiot broker decided to buy because of the views that will be gone within a few years. i guess he has no brains either.

i love that the apartment that Kleiers showed is still on the market. are we going to have a showing of the unit in 6 months saying "Overpriced, needs a gut, still on the market!!!!!"

I thought the show was pretty lame.

That said, Michelle Kleier made a point I have been sounding the clarion call on for the past 2 years. At her last minute open house, she stresses that THE most important factor in getting an apartment sold is getting the word out to "the brokers",(I would add correct pricing to that).

99% of the marketing fluff is to sell you an image, create a perception of success, it does not sell apartments. All brokers look and list in the same places and 98% of all buyers utilize the service of a broker to help them find a home. Simple as that.

The glee over a divorce was in pretty poor taste as well...

I'm kinda pissed. Last night after looking at this thread and reading the NY Times piece, I said "I gotta watch this show". If it's anything like the Bravo LA RE agents show, just the right mix of cheeseballs and RE for me. But the TV was occupied, and rather than recording over the iPhone app, I just figured I'd set it to record tomorrow. Unfortunately, it's only shown on Thursdays, so I've now missed the inaugural episode. I don't know if I can recover.

Does anybody know where I can watch the first episode online? It doesn't seem to be up on the HGTV site. Alternatively, anybody got it on their DVR and want to invite a stranger in their home to watch ;)?

nada, I don't know where you can find it on line, but you're welcome here if you want to trek up to the Upper Upper West Side ...

ali r.

^^oops, "online" not "on line"

That Core building was most definitely 52 east 4th st.
The 3rd floor commercial space is still on the market at $500 psft.

And thanks to 30yrs, we have a date of that taping...
"in today's email:

You are invited to the 52 East 4th Street Poolside Cocktail Party and launch of our commercial condos for sale.

Tuesday, September 15th 6-8pm"

http://streeteasy.com/nyc/talk/discussion/11334-building-at-52-east-4th-street

geez, i love bad television but this just didn't qualify. total snoozeville.
did anyone else find it appalling that the cast of jersey shore left all the catering in the aluminum and paper containers at the $4.5+ mil open house on park ave?? wasn't mama kleier carrying one of my coveted hermes bags? tell me they can't afford a few decent serving trays. what would chad rodgers say??

bravo needs to pick this bad boy up and sprinkle fairy dust all over it.

HGTV is available on an on demand channel on Time Warner cable. I think its the "lifestyle" channel. I am sure they will have "Selling New York" available. On the other hand, I wouldn't waste my time. Personally, I thought it represented the worst of New York. I would have way preferred to see "real" people looking for apartments at more realistic (for NYC) price points. The McMansions on "house Hunters" may be tasteless but they come across more engaging.

BTW, Ali, Keith, et al. I'd be po'ed as hell by how my profession is depicted. Mad Men may not be a realistic look at advertising but at least it takes place in 1963.

And I dealt with the broker who bought the Bowery apartment when I was looking (he was the seller broker on a place I put an offer on--and thankfully didn't get), felt like showering after speaking with him.

that broker couple just seems to buy and sell places. i don't think they actually live in them. they will probably try and flip.

Thank you, FP, as that is very generous. Having come to my senses, however, I don't think I can actually bear the shame with explaining to my wife what I'd be doing.

Liz, that's just it. I am looking for "the worst of New York" entertainment. I guess I'll just have to wait until next week to determine whether the spectacle is enough for me.

If they were serving food out of a tray, they do indeed need that crap Chadderized. Do you know how long I was calling my wife "cakes" and karate-chopping pillows after that show?

My wife is the karate chopper. She usually does it when we're expecting company and I've wondered if our guests are in on it too. Could be we are part of a much larger (but silent) revolution going on, thanks to that little preening pipsqueek Chad.

BTW the unit at 52 East 4th street sold for 2,168,873. Not the 2.3mm full asking price like they said. on the show. Also, CORE left out one glaring piece of info it was on the market for 469 days before it sold. What a farse. How stupid do they think their audience is!

Nada, if you change your mind yr. wife is invited too.

Now that February sweeps and the Olympics are over I find I can wrestle the TV away from hubby for two or even three hours a week.

Hey stevie!!! Yeah, the Polish Prince!!??!! F'ing pathetic.

"I ate lunch next to Jude Law." who gives a sh*t? what is this, oshkosh? "I saw the celeb du jour at (fill in the blank)": big deal

But, what about paying $2.3mm for 1359 sf on the Bowery??

I prefer the California broker boys show, way more fun. This show was like watching a bunch of self important yentas.

I believe the Bowery was called one of New York's Cities most desireable hoods...could list how many others ...
haha

I was in the gents & Jude Law whizzed a my shoe.

What kills me about the 1359 square foot business is if you listen carefully, the broker originally hawked it as 1800 sf. HAHAHAHA.

And anybody who spends that much money on an apartment just because they saw a model at Fashion Week - big f'ing deal - or sat next to Mahatma Gandhi, or blew a Polish prince, is out of their minds.

This will be a short-lived show, I think. One episode was enough for me.

i loved the kitchen and the baths the most. hospital white.

"My wife is the karate chopper. She usually does it when we're expecting company and I've wondered if our guests are in on it too. Could be we are part of a much larger (but silent) revolution going on, thanks to that little preening pipsqueek Chad."

I had never seen the pointy pillow thing until the show, maybe I don't watch enough HGTV. Looks ridiculous, if you ask me. However, I took a trip to the Caribbean recently and stayed at some hotel where they had the pillows all pointy. Pointed it out the wife, had a big ol' laugh. Then I realized that the hotel's interiors were designed by some big LA designer, books from that designer laying around. Then it all started coming together for me...

Chad makes that show. Hell, when I started watching that show, I didn't realize that I was being given a free trial to Bravo. When it was time for the last show to air, free trial ended, and I had to call to realize what had happened. To make a long story short, I actually went to iTunes and paid $2 to watch the last episode.

Now that's good TV.

ahaha - i love Chad and the other two bit@hes.

when I first saw a promo for this show...I couldn't wait. Not to see the show, to see the comments on SE. Alas, show was worse than expected.

when I first saw a promo for this show...I couldn't wait. Not to see the show, to see the comments on SE. Alas, show was worse than expected.

I was looking forward to the show - NY is underrepresented on HGTV. But the people they picked to be on it are just about the worst, shallowest, most superficial that I have ever seen.

Why not focus on real apartments for real people, or a house in Riverdale or something. Every last person on that show was a realwhore.

"the broker originally hawked it as 1800 sf." I missed that. shyster.

"And anybody who spends that much money on an apartment just because they saw a model at Fashion Week - big f'ing deal - or sat next to Mahatma Gandhi, or blew a Polish prince, is out of their minds."

Yes!! "I think it sold becuz of fashion week" Whu?? How dumb do they think we are? dumb enuf to spend $2.3 for 1359sf on the Bowery. Hope, at least, buyers got a free 'Fashion Week' T shirt with their purchase.

"This will be a short-lived show, I think." agreed. Bring back the 3 California broker boy beeches!

Yeah - Million Dollar Borkers! Alas, it's on a different channel, but at least they're bitchy in an understandable way. You can ALMOST like them.

Not really, but at least you don't HATE them.

Well, on third thought....

Let's stick to HHunters!

Spinnaker: You are funny!

stevie,

HHunters is boooooooooooooring, but, I fantasize & drool over HHunters International. I adore those California boys: great hair & great clothes.

Steve I am with you all the way...not to mention how I cringed about Middle America watching this show and having it confirm all their worst stereotypes. Not only is New York filled with "Christ killers" and "perverts" but now they think we're a punch of shallow pretentious assholes. I wouldn't really wouldn't care what they thought (and if it keeps tourists away...I know that's bad for the economy but couldn't we bring back the Garment District or something)except so many things we desperately need are funded on the federal level.

liz,

How 'bout the NY Housewives? Super cring to the nth power (but I love watching!!)

"now they think we're a punch of shallow pretentious assholes"
I think Mid Amerique has always thought this.

And it didn't take the Shill Times long to have a feature:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/21/realestate/21hgtv.html?ref=realestate

"“Selling New York,” which had its debut on Thursday, is a smart biopsy of the city’s upscale residential market"

Usually you only biopsy when you're looking for diseased tissue.

Bingo.

Blogging Episode Two (Spoiler Alert: Nothing happens) http://bit.ly/bfmZkL

ali r.

bump.

Episode Three, includes 535 WEA: http://bit.ly/bnYbhM

ali r.

Good write-ups, Ali.

The Kleiers sure are patient. I wanted to whap a couple of the clients.

NWT, thanks for the compliment. I've gotten offered more TV writing based on these write-ups.

Here's Episode Four, Kleiers go to Connecticut: http://bit.ly/avdhyK

ali

Episode Five: Finally, brokers argue over a commission: http://bit.ly/aZ8QEa

ali

after all of these episodes, i think there was only one sale, by CORE to another broker. at least they show reality.

Episode Seven, REALLY fancy properties: http://bit.ly/d6Uczf

ali

Seriously? The gay cooks thought their piddly little 1 bed/1 bath in TriBeCa was worth 1.5 million????

Just curious, how big was the cooks' 1bm and where in Tribeca was it?

Thanks!

It's this one: http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sale/463509-condo-416-washington-street-tribeca-new-york

They paid $881,000 in 2005.

Nice return if you can get it, eh?

Last night I turned it off halfway through the first show: all of these fictitious buyers looking for multimillion dollar townhouses that they never buy. All you get to see are real estate agents.

This is the worst of New York. Even if I had that kind of money - and I will when I win tonight's mega millions - I wouldn't want to be anywhere near those people or their lifestyle. Maybe I'm just too attached to my Astoria background and Chipotle lunches, I don't know.

"It's this one: http://streeteasy.com/nyc/sale/463509-condo-416-washington-street-tribeca-new-york. They paid $881,000 in 2005."

I have nothing against this apartment (aside from, of course, the dreadful lack of a proper kitchen and the fact that you have to dine in the entry foyer).

It's a lovely, VERY tastefully appointed proper one bedroom with the bonus of an extra half-bath.

But there is no way on God's Green Earth that it's worth anywhere near $1.395 million.

At BEST maybe $950K -- and even that's a stretch.

Methinks the gay cooks won't be moving into a bigger place anytime soon.

The fake stone wall sucks. Needs a decorative fireplace to really make it pop.

Actually, I love the stone wall. And a fireplace would make no sense in an ENTRY FOYER, which is what the space really is. There would be no room for a fireplace AND an dining table and chairs -- it would be too cluttered.

NYCM, a decorative fireplace always adds to the ambiance.

A fireplace only makes sense if you can leave at least 4 feet of space in front of it.

In this case, that's impossible to do when you're using the area for a dining table and chairs.

I didn't think much of the luxury properties last night. Didn't like the Soho(?) loft & thought $25mm for 94th St TH was ridiculous.

NYCM, you have no sense of irony.

"I didn't think much of the luxury properties last night. Didn't like the Soho(?) loft & thought $25mm for 94th St TH was ridiculous."

Agreed.

I also find it funny how that whole event at the loft was staged for all the real estate industry parasites who feed off of the sales of these apartments -- very few actual PRINCIPALS at that little party.

The show is actually about attracting a lot of eyeballs to (hopefully) watch advertisements.

Seems like it was fiarly successful with the SE crowd on that metric.

(Sure, I know you did your emails during the commercials...)

dwell, $25mm is the new number people make up when they want to make up a number. I haven't seen anything priced at that that will actually sell for it.

And the loft is indeed in SoHo, it's on Thompson Street.

ali r.
DG Neary Realty

You know if HGTV did a program on real NYC real estate and showed a lot cookie cutter 685 sq ft 1brs an 1100 sq 2/2s which are lucky to have an updated kitchen, middle America wouldn't watch. Of course they might watch after all just to snicker and reconfirm how much better life is in the of the McMansion and Olive Garden. Let's face it, Manhattanites don't buy weed killer or too many Sears appliances, or many of the other things that are heavy advertisers on HGTV.

There IS a New York version of "Sell This House" or something like that. I remember watching it last summer when my parents were visiting. It was a half-hour, and they had two buyers who were shown (at least on the show) three properties. They showed "regular" people with realistic budgets (under half a million).

liz, a good kenmore vaccuum can be a thing of beauty. i don't know about the current models though. and i'll confess, we once bought weed killer. but we didn't use it. oh, and there's an olive garden at 22nd and 6th. blows my mind away every time i see it.

some of the condo duplexes/triplexes etc. are out mcmansioning the mcmansions. i'll have to find it but there's someone that has bought thousands upon thousands of sf in a building. odd and strangely unsettling.

Matt that's "House Hunters"...it takes place all over the country, there have been a few episodes in New York and yes they dealt with realistic budgets. I will admit to being hopelessly hooked on "House Hunters" but the one recurring theme that drives me crazy is hearing "This house is only 2000 sq ft. Now that we are thinking about starting a family, we need more space." That and popcorn ceilings. Talk about something that should be wiped off the face of the earth for the good of humanity.

AR, I know about the OG on 23rd, and the Outback next door. Do you know anyone who has actually been there (or admits to it)? Maybe they are only there as commercial sets that require a "real restaurant"? The other theory is that Darden Restaurant has a policy of opening OGs near Home Depots since they attract similar demo/psychographics.

Of course the Home Depot on 23rd and 6th is not exactly typical, Saturday afternoon can bring in some of the world's attractive men, far exceeding ABC Carpet and Home. (I mentioned this to a (gay) friend who lives in Chelsea and then added "Just shows boys will be boys and orientation is strictly secondary. Power tools are just so much more interesting than candlesticks." He laughed for an hour and said he was going to dine out on that for a month.)

liz you need your own blog..

Yes, that homo depot is cruisier than the Roxy.

BTW, Liz, I think AR HAS eaten at that OG out of morbid curiosity. I'm always fascinated when I walk by it, and there is actually a line.

Interesting theory SNS, I've always thought AR has an adventurous spirit but someone how I don't think she would ever go that far. I know its far important to her to be here and healthy for her daughter.

I used to love Olive Garden in high school. Can't believe I stuffed my face with their three-pasta special & cannolli. Yep, a 4000 calorie meal.

There were some very interesting looking men at the Barney's in Soho. Like the naif I am, I couldn't help gawking.

All gay.

Gawking is free.

liz, sad to report sNs is 100% correct. i lived a block away and couldn't help myself. but only once, it was a quest for sociological information.

and i don't think the kid was there that night, which makes it even worse. i paid for a babysitter for the experience.

AR: yes! Sounds like something I would do.

Well remind me to ask you for the sociological report...I have some ideas.
My OG experience is strictly mid-American. I had a Client in Lake Forest, IL who liked to go there for lunch. At first I sampled the salad and breadsticks, which honestly weren't bad. Then he insisted on ordering pasta....it was so sad to see my favorite food so mistreated. I learned my lesson from then on...salad and then "not really hungry" (and then fill up on junk food at O'Hare when confronted with the inevitable delays getting home...still believe Doritos are healthier than OG).

Episode Eight: Michelle goes to Florida: http://bit.ly/cXDrDl

ali r.

That wreck in Brooklyn just closed at $1,200,000: http://a836-acris.nyc.gov/Scripts/DocSearch.dll/Detail?Doc_ID=2010043000759009

They were asking $1,500,000 when the show was shot.

The finale: http://bit.ly/bnxRdn

ali r.

I caught half an episode last night and I don't know if it was a new episode or a rerun but I couldn't beleive my ears.
It was a stunning first floor apartment with either a super large hot tub or a small pool and the buyer was looking for investment purposes. The asking price for sale was 8 million and they mentioned the rent expected was 20K.
This investor has to be be Forrest Gump!

Room for staff.

I couldn't possibly live somewhere without room for the staff.

The investor passed on the one with the pool. IIRC he went for something at 40 E 66th. Oddly, the exterior shots for 40 E 66 were of 45 E 66.

I'm sorry. But I like the show. As a conniseur of just-awful-dreadful-tv, this does qualify. When that CORE head broker with the sort of discount sounding accent pompously offers yet another silly broker-babble "insight" that would be obvious to rube, I smile every time. And I laugh when the Kliers talk about multi-million $ listings from their offices which look like a camera crew from "Hoarders" is about to show up. And their handbags! I mean, seriously, how ostentatious are all the Kliers' Kelly bags? I'd love to hear them explain how carrying a $6000 purse helps them connect with clients. Any answer would be precious. And my gosh--does their hairdresser have mirrors in the salon? Am I the only one that looks at mother AND daughters with their identical do's (one style fits 30-70 year olds?)and ask, "How can they not be suing the person who sent them out with those stringy messes with scary parts on their heads?"

RE brokers are such a fascinating breed of often deluded spin doctors that I just settle in with my popcorn and cringe with titillating embarassment as I watch this show. Nothing really sells and most "buyers" impress as phoney, but who cares. I get to enjoy apartment porn and at the same time study brokers with the benign, strangely soothing, detachment one might experience watching an ant farm. Until Chad-bot and his westcoast freak friends come back on Million Dollar Listing, this HGTV show has all the ingredients I need to mix up a 1/2 hours of silliness once a week.

I wish they never cancelled "Dirty Sexy Money," it was so much more entertaining. :)

kylewest: Well written comment, as always.

They also took that guy to OBBP. He looked out the window; and headed out the door. No fool, he.

i saw the cook and his partner trying to sell his apt for $1.45mm last night, not sure if rerun..

i loved the awkward tension when his partner hugged the studly broker to imply he's open to side bodily barter for services while his partner watched with a forced smile.

hol4 : Caught that, too. I think that guy was just being friendly. It was the studly broker who was uncomfortable. But, he would be more gay - appreciative if he got some of their money.

That kind of open gay-hating takes place on "Reality T.V." very often. It's insulting.