Do you live in a quiet building?

If you're looking for quiet, recommend West Village or Meatpacking. Most places there are pretty low key. Some of the larger co-op buildings there all have mandatory 80% floor area covered by rugs type of rules: https://www.hauseit.com/co-op-rules-and-regulation-in-nyc/

Just be careful what you ask for though. Yes some of it is great for your comfort, but a lot of these co-ops tend to have power overreach. Small minded people trying to exert power ... sad!

P.S. Just wait until the anti smoking rules come out this summer! Each building will need policy on it

Oasis, Look for an apartment at the back of the building rather than the front. There is no bigger noise reduction than not facing the street. Windows are the biggest source of noise transmission. You can always get cityquiet windows which will reduce the noise significantly.

Noise from the neighbor upstairs is very difficult to control. It varies from building to building and neighbor to neighbor. It is very difficult to control that. You can get a penthouse to control that.

Also, a building with older people tends to be quieter due to generally lower level of activity.

Prewar multi-unit buildings tend to be 'overbuilt' with lots of concrete and solid materials between apartments. Newer buildings often have very thin walls and shoddy interior construction so it's easier to hear noise from neighbors. If you're looking for something newly-built, find out what sort of sound-proofing is in place, if any.

Definitely stay away from single-family homes (brownstones, etc) that have been converted to multi-unit. Unless a total gut was done, with soundproofing built in, they are a terrible choice.

And re: the 'old people' thing - I once had a sweet elderly lady as a next-door neighbor and she literally had her TV cranked on high ALL day and night. Guess it kept her company. It was a dratted nuisance and I hate to say I wasn't terribly sad when she finally passed on...

No dog policy buildings help as well.