expecting 2nd baby...3bd advice?

I would rent in Harlem, a duplex or a triplex. But I do like Harlem, not everybody does...and if you have school age kids it might not work for u..

Good schools will be an issue. We are looking on the UES or UWS.

LP1: K will be coming up soon for your 4yo. What are your plans - private/public? If you are going public, then I would advocate getting a convertible 3, then moving out as soon as your younger child has enrolled in K.

Rentals in PS290 are a little cheaper than PS87/199. If your kid tests into G&T, then you will have greater freedom to move (assuming they keep the 90th %-ile cutoff for siblings). Is your child entering K next fall (i.e. turns 5 by the end of next year)? If so, hang tight in your 2br for now until you sort out his school situation.

Other good school zones in Manhattan: 234 (Tribeca), 116, 40, 3, 41 and a couple schools in Chinatown. Check out Beekman (59?) and the new PS158 (UES). Besides 199, 89, on the UWS, PS9 has very small classes in K (16ish is what I heard for this year).

We had a similar situation - we have a 2 bed about 1,200 sf -

Keep the infant in your room for the first 8 months or so. With all of the feeding your wife will be up and down constantly during the night so it doesn't make sense to have the new one in the 2nd bedroom anyway. Then make the transition to putting both into one bedroom once the newborn is on a better sleeping schedule. Plus I think you'll be surprised at how much your 4 year old will adjust to noises at night.

I have a few friends who have walk-in closets where they keep their newborns - some think that's ghastly, but considering a crib is 2 feet by 3 feet how ghastly is putting a baby in a crib in a closet? Closets are quiet and dark -that's what a baby wants/needs (just make sure their is sufficient air but that really shouldn't be a problem at all.)

Congrats

Another thing to think about: my oldest wants to sleep with her sister in the same room.

"I'd love to buy a 3bd UWS, but with childcare doubling to 50k/yr I don't know how we will swing it."

a 3bedroom is a tricky one, they are scarce. i only have one (in a 2 bedroom/2bath/2walking closet... and would also want a 3bedroom if i had 2). i wouldn't go for anything with stairs when having small kids (duplex, triplex and the like), they are great after the youngest is i'd say 3 years old or on though.

childcare cost doubling seems odd to me. plenty of nannies take care of 2 for not much more $ than what they charge for only 1.

Thanks everyone. DS is 3.5 now, birthday is in June. So he'll be almost 4 when baby arrives. That gives us just @ a year to move into a good public school district after baby comes. Before this we were planning to move into PS199, taking our time b/c of the rezoning. I dread baby in our bedroom. Jazzman, I'm the mom, so hopefully I won't be up all night w/ baby. I have a FT job and need baby to sleep through the night by 3 months. Worked with ds, so fingers crossed on this one;-)

"I dread baby in our bedroom. "

yep, mine slept much better (through the night) once we moved him to his own room (my ex home office that is)...

I was just going to jump on Jazzman for assuming that LP1 is a man. By the way, I'm a woman and my (male) partner has always gotten up with the kids. To the heavier sleeper goes the spoils :) Stairs are not an issue if they can be gated, and from personal experience, only an issue for 18 months - 2 yrs. If you are okay with an apt in a brownstone-type building, you will get more square footage and the possibility of an alcove that you can make into a small 3rd sleeping area. What is your budget?

nyc10023 -- I'm fine with stairs, even happy about it. I'm not sure on the budget, we pay 3300 now. Still working out the numbers on cashflow come April.Dh would like to move to Brooklyn, but I can't stomach being miles away from an infant, based on those unexpected calls. I work in midtown.

LP1 - we're expecting #2 in Dec. We're in a 3 bedroom now (2 bed small maid's room) and don't plan on using the 3rd bedroom for either child right away. Now, I'm a SAHM and do intend on having #2 in our room for the first 3-4 months. Once sleep schedule is regular, we may move #2 in with #1, but may not. There's a jack and jill bathroom separating the two bedrooms that we never use (well, i use it to hang-dry laundry)and hubby thinks it would make a great transition space for #2's crib. we'll see, i'm not sold on that yet. My point is, there could be lots of ways to configure your 2 bedrooms (or a new 2 br) to accomodate your situation. Can the larger bedroom be split and you and hubby move into the smaller one? Do you have any nooks, closets, etc, that could be walled off? If you do plan to look for a new space, look for some of these features. Good Luck!

where are you living now?

LP1: The only 3brs I see within spitting distance of $3800 are the ones at 244 West 64th, which are located on the same block as the northernmost buildings of the Amsterdam Houses (projects). Also, this building is being billed as a housing solution for students.

I would recommend looking at Tower 67 (145W67) to see if you can get a convertible 3.

It's hard to know where kids will end up on the sleeping spectrum. #1 slept through the night at 9 weeks, in our room. #2 only slept through the night at 6 months when we moved her to her own room & CIO. Now they're back in the same room, by request.

BTW - if you're paying $3300/mos on rent (or do you own?) and don't want to spend twice as much to rent a 3 bedroom (which could get you a nicely sized 3 br in good school zone), why on earth would you think you wanted to BUY a UWS 3 bedroom. This will likely cost you much more than the cost to rent? I'm not being difficult, just slightly confused :(

nyc10023 - I'm so confused about your offspring. I thought you had a school-aged son who didn't like doing math spreadsheets/worksheets. it doesn't matter...;)

I think it often boils down to 4 simple words - "we can't afford it" - sure it would be nice to have that 3rd bedroom but their is great honor (not shame) in saying - you know what, we just can't afford it. Those words were so liberating to my wife and I. We're so glad we didn't go the 3 bed route. The idea of us having an $8,000/month rent right now is so daunting - who knows what tomorrow will bring financially - we're happy to be renting a 2 bed and sending our oldest to PS 6. If you feel like you're stretching your budget then I'll invite you to say it with me - we'd love a 3 bed, but you know what, we can't afford it.
Good luck with the pregnancy and sorry that there's not a gender neutral pronoun in the English language that I could have used when replying earlier - perhaps we can put our heads together and create one:)

I am in a similar situation 2BD/2.5BA and I'm trying to navigate through putting up a temporary wall.

Jazzman -- no worries! And thanks on the congrats earlier.

UWSmom -- we are on w 63rd. Was looking to buy BEFORE I found out we were expecting. Back then we were looking at 2bd/2ba, but now I wouldn't *buy* a place that small, renting a 2bd/2ba is a different story. An easy search on streeteasy once again shows that buying a 3bd is twice as expensive per month than renting one. And although my employment is stable, dh was at a hedge fund that blew up last year. He's working at a bank now, but with less than a year there it isn't great on an application.

nyc -- yes west 64th is a terrible school district, so would never consider it. I know those projects well and am no fan! I recall looking at rentals 4 yrs ago and finding two very nice 2bd/1ba apts (one UWS, other UES) with formal dining rooms that could be converted to a bedroom. They were old buildings, but good space. Although lots has changed in 4 yrs, I doubt rents are much more expensive now than back then given the concessions of this last year.

So, LP1, let me ask you this: Can you fit a mini crib into one of your 2 bathrooms? I know it sounds totally trashy, but your little one does NOT care what type of room he/she is sleeping in. Do your baths have windows? $3300/mos is rent worth keeping imo. Or, are you hoping to upgrade to a better school zone. I'm still confused. Good Luck!

Ds already has a twin bed and his old crib in his room, so there is room for a baby there. We'll have to finagle closet space for baby's stuff, but could wing it. Some people wall off the dining alcove in our apt, but I hate the look, makes the apt very dark. We do need to move to a new school district for kindergarden. But from what I'm hearing with responses here the best thing is to keep this apt until we need to move for public school. Does anyone know the lead time we need to be in considered in the public school zone? DS turns 5 June 2011 -- would be starting K then in Sept 2011.

Thanks everyone for the help. It is really appreciated.

For PS 6 - you have to have a lease in your name and be living there March 1 - we moved in March 15th and found out the hard way - we were wait listed buy ultimately were admitted. My wife would know better but I believe it's the ConEd bill that really counts when it comes to back up docs.

Every school has a different registration process. For 199, you don't just show up and register. At the end of Sept 1 full year prior to enrollment, one signs up for an open house (there are several) later in the fall. No proof of residence was asked for, but you were asked over the phone if you lived in the district. At the open house, you filled out a card with your name, number & address and you told you would be called back later in the year (did not necessarily coincide with the DOE timeframe) for an appointment to register.

When the official DOE registration period started, I called the school and asked for the appointment (because I was paranoid that they would forget to call or lose my card). They ended up giving me an appointment then, though I think that was against their internal rules. If I had not called for an appointment, I would have been assigned a later slot for registration (probably still okay). Last year, they were able to accommodate people who moved into zone after the registration period, but everyone is predicting waitlist/shutouts in fall '10 because they are supposed to be capping PS199 at 6 K classes. They haven't announced a cap at PS87, but I'm thinking that it must be in the works.

The bottom line is - living in zone may no longer guarantee enrollment. On the other hand, if your child ends up going to K in a less desirable public, it's not the end of the world. There is significant attrition every year at public schools (people move to private, burbs, away) so you will (I think) eventually get into your zoned school. Takes nerves of steel though, to wait it out patiently.

I would look seriously at PS9 - it's a smaller zone, and the word is that they will always cut the # of G&T classes to accommodate kids who actually live in the zone and want to go there. The free lunch demographics are much higher than 87/199 but that reflects some legacy stuff, I would think. The K classes there are small this year much to the envy of more popular schools.

We too live in a 2 bed/2 bath with 2 kids. When the 2nd came, we bought a portacrib -

http://www.buybuybaby.com/product.asp?order_num=-1&SKU=16806528&RN=7156&

. We started out with him in our room (used it like a bassinet) for the first couple of months. Then when he started to eat less frequently, we would roll him out into the living room when it was time for us to go to bed at night. In the morning we rolled it back in to our bedroom for daytime napping.

And The portacrib is surprisingly substantial - certainly good enough for an infant. Now that he sleeps through the night we put him in a regular sized crib in the room with his older brother.

The only thing I would add is that you have to buy a mattress for the portacrib - the one it comes with is paper thin, but they sell thick ones seperately.

awesome feedback. Thank you everyone.

printer, thanks so much for the portacrib idea. Problem solved for me.

We raised 2 boys in a 1200sf 2br +maids. One bath sandwiched between the brs and a tiny one in maidsroom. We kept the baby in a dresser drawer in our room for 3 months.

Two tips:
1. We stowed away the crib as soon as #1 got his "big boy bed" and I suggest you do the same ASAP, so it's not HIS when you get it out again. Mine shared a room until they were 10 and 7. They were thrilled when #2 graduated to "big boy bed" and #1 was able to move up (literally) to Upper Bunk. At ages 11 & 8 they began killing each other and luckily we could afford to move into a 7 and give them their own rooms.

2. We had a wonderful experience with Au Pairs from -- er, I think it's called Home Stay America. They've changed the name, but it orignally was part of The Experiment in International Living in Bennington, VT. They come from various European countries with a 13-month student visa, you pay them a small stipend (in my day it was $100 a week) give them room and board, and pay for them to take one class. WE had wonderful girls from Austria, Holland, Belgium, Germany, and a couple of ok ones from France. It was a great experience all round - we actually had visits last week from two - both mothers now (and graciously credited us with childraising influence.) FULL DISCLOSURE: I worked full time from when #1 was 4 months, but had a daily nanny who came in from 8 - 6:30. During that time I often said I'd be much worse off if Mae left me than if my husband did. But when they were both in school, I let her go because I just couldn't afford private school and keeping her on. (Obviously we earned enough for all this - although I have repeatedly told my boys that they're my retirement fund.)

We have about a 1200SF apartment (our management company says 1400, but they're full of it). We have a toddler, a young baby and a quasi-live in Monday-Friday. Yes, 5 people total. Made the (windowed) dining alcove into a third bedroom. Honestly, don't feel cramped at all, except for strollers and baby/kid crap everywhere.

We had our older one in our bedroom in our old apartment until he was 15 months. Far from ideal, but not as terrible as you might imagine. We had a large enough bedroom (something like 12x17), put his crib in the opposite corner from our bed, and put one of those room divider screens next to his bed so it felt like a separate room.

Our plan is to do something similar with the little one until he sleeps well enough to share a room with his brother - hopefully sometime between 5 and 8 months.

LP1 - if you think/hope your next baby will sleep through the night by 3 months, why not put him/her in the room with the older one then?

So I guess I am with Jazzman - you certainly don't "need" a 3-bedroom with two kids. We could techically afford something bigger, but would much rather save our $$ for when we eventually buy.

As an aside, where/how do you pay $3300 for an 1150SF apartment on the UWS?!

it's an 80/20 bld, which doesn't usually bother me, so the deal with the city increases follow the rent stabilization %. We would have been at 4k this year, but we negotiated the rent down due to the economy and they were happily very accomodating. We have been very fortunate with rents in this city, with the downside being that we didn't buy 10 years ago. C'est la vie.