east hampton or south hampton

South is 20-60 minutes closer to the city depending on traffic. South has much bigger shopping district. You'll usually get more land for the money in East (all else being equal). East usually has less crowded beaches.

is the crowd similar at both? what about the town itself?

I'd say the crowds are about the same, perhaps East Hampton is a bit more artsy. Are you looking for a weekend place or are you moving out here full time?

Looking for a weekend place.

You probably need to get out to both places more than a few times yourself to figure this out, and probably during the peak season. If you are a weekender that will be driving out Friday night and back on Sunday, the added commute to EH is quite meaningful when you are only there for two days. The difference between leaving Manhattan on a summer Friday night at 7:00 and arriving at your house at 8:30+ or 9:30+ is the difference between whether it is still light out, reasonable time to still fire up the bbq for dinner, etc. If you have a helicopter, or are taking off or half days many Fridays and Mondays during the summer, the added commute is less of an issue.

The rest of the issues are personal tastes and budget. Are you looking for family places or night life? Restaurants or grocery stores? Elsewhere you mention $800K budget. In either location, you will be some distance from town or the beach at that price. You might find more in SH in areas like Noyac, North Sea and maybe even parts of Shinnecock. You might even look further west in Quogue -- doesn't have the same cache, but it does have the best butcher on the east end, and 15 minutes closer.

Why not compromise on Sag HArbor. 12 minutes to South or East, just perfect in the middle

you again

south has more independent shops and local village businesses, which i like. east has more upscale seasonal shops. i think east is quieter just because it's farther away from the city. both villages are sceney, but i think southampton a bit more.

East Hampton tends to be more rustic- taller trees, more "hills," more undeveloped space, etc. Other than Springs, I prefer East Hampton overall. But, indeed, the maddening summer traffic is the dealbreaker. Being 7 miles or so to the west makes a BIG difference during the high season.