broker babble: nominations for best apartment descriptions

I couldn't help but post when I cane across this listing from Craigslist, it has a title: "Living Well is the Best Revenge". Pure awesome hilariousness. "Everyone has that one co-worker or old friend...the one you're not quite sure why you still hang out with. You know who I mean. The "frenemy." That dear ol' pal who'd let you flirt with the hot server for hours, never mentioning that there's... [more]

I couldn't help but post when I cane across this listing from Craigslist, it has a title: "Living Well is the Best Revenge". Pure awesome hilariousness. "Everyone has that one co-worker or old friend...the one you're not quite sure why you still hang out with. You know who I mean. The "frenemy." That dear ol' pal who'd let you flirt with the hot server for hours, never mentioning that there's spinach in your teeth. Rent this apartment, and you win. Checkmate. From the chic prestige of having a private elevator open into your apartment, to the elegant, cutting-edge kitchen, to the floor-to- ceiling windows that beckon in the sun-- -this fantastic loft-like apartment will make your rival seethe. And aside from that-- it's an awfully amazing residence for you. High ceilings, gorgeous floors. Lots of room, and a magnificent location on a quiet street around the corner from nightlife, transportation, everything you need. Washer and dryer in unit. But that's just gravy. It's pulsating with "Wow-factor." And it's even "No Fee." They only made a handful like this, and there's only one left to rent. You really should see it. And see it now. Beat the Frenemy to the punch. Because it would be awful if you were the one seething through gritted teeth in the private elevator, en route to the killah new place your frenemy rented. Seriously. It's an awesome, unique place. Call me to view it. You'll want to rent it right away." http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/nfb/887168304.html [less]