favorite lines in listing descriptions

not as pithy as your find but how about:

"When you dream a Brooklyn dream, you dream of your own private Townhouse. When you dream a Brooklyn dream, you want a Townhouse-style life, but without the Townhouse-life headaches. When you dream a Brooklyn dream, you're dreaming of this home."

http://www.streeteasy.com/nyc/sale/464136-coop-920-union-street-park-slope-brooklyn

that's where we parked the unicorn!!

"When only the best will do..."
http://www.streeteasy.com/nyc/sale/464515-coop-190-columbia-heights-brooklyn-heights-brooklyn

Apparently "best" and "no expense spared" for a million and a quarter in Brooklyn don't even get you an additional half-bath. For that money, I don't want to be hanging out waiting for my spouse to finish shaving in the morning, you know?

"All rooms have windows"

you betcha they do, otherwise they would be rooms!!!

"New pride adjustment!!"
http://www.streeteasy.com/nyc/sale/430619-coop-444-east-75th-street-upper-east-side-new-york

Perfect for your lion-fetish family!

Wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh, wimoweh...

not a line, exactly. but definitely a statement by the broker.

http://www.streeteasy.com/nyc/sale/464981-condo-120-riverside-boulevard-lincoln-square-new-york

hilarious.

AR,
In sales...your always selling yourself.

I beleve it's Mr.Andy 'Hung' Kim

My favorite lines go like this:

"If you can't resist luxury, DON'T EVEN THINK OF LOOKING at this apartment!"

"If you can't resist a deal, DON'T EVEN LOOK at this apartment!"

OK. We can't resist, so we won't look.

Reverse psychology only works with 2 year olds, as I recall.

{Manhattan real estate agent.}

Thank you for this post.... I needed a laugh!

I always love TRIPLE MINT. It's particularly yummy with the chocolate sprinkles.

and yummy gummi unicorns.

NO DREAM DEFERRED!
If you dared to hope for the perfect residence of affordable luxury, this two bedroom, two bath home at 381 Lenox is your dream come true!

http://www.streeteasy.com/nyc/sale/349716-condo-381-lenox-avenue-central-harlem-new-york

"not a line, exactly. but definitely a statement by the broker."

Is that Zelig?

will blow the buyer

how sexist.