Psycho Broker

Remove the word psycho...

I cant seem to face up to the facts
Im tense and nervous and i
Cant relax
I cant sleep cause my beds on fire
Dont touch me Im a real live wire

Psycho broker
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho broker
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

You start a conversation you cant even finish it.
Youre talkin a lot, but youre not sayin anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?

Psycho broker,
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho broker
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

(* spoken interlude in french *)

Psycho broker,
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho broker,
Quest que cest
Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh....

Ce que j'ai fait, ce soir-là
Ce qu'elle a dit, ce soir-là
Réalisant mon espoir - d'acheter un pied a terre
Je me lance vers la gloire

To quote that real estate authority, Paul Simon:
Slip out the back, Jack.
Make a new plan, Stan.
You don't need to be coy, Roy.
Just listen to me.
Hop on the bus, Gus.
You don't need to discuss much.
Just drop off the key, Lee.
And get yourself free.

Seriously, it's the new broker's issue to manage. Ask him to deal with the nutcase.

It's just like when you're dealing with a psycho surgeon and you're going under the knife next week. You found a truly excellent surgeon in the same specialty, who has the added advantage of not having DTs. But you don't want to hurt the first professional's feelings, so you just go along with Plan A.

Or like this lemming I once knew, who developed a strong dysfunctional family-like relationship with a real estate agent-lemming, kind of wondered for a split-second when they got to a cliff, but didn't want to upset the other lemming (or himself).

Excelsior!

You don't need a broker. Use street easy searches. Make your own schedule. You don't sound so dumb. Powe to the people!

You have the right to go with whoever you want. Why stay loyal to someone who isn't doing what you want.

Change psycho borker to psycho tailor: would you keep a tailor who alters your clothes wrong on a consistent basis, or would you ask for the tailor at the next sewing machine, who's spot-on each and every time?

Maybe the Evil Borker will learn something by being dumped for the (Relatively) Good Borker.

You can also go by way of "for sale by owner."
You may be surprised by the opportunities.
Good luck.

Passive aggressive seems to be a common broker trait; are you sure the new broker isn't going to be just as bad? You might test the potential new broker by telling this person that you are not happy with your present broker and want to switch. Watch the new broker's reaction for hint of passive-aggressiveness or, alternatively, backstabbiness.

I totally agree with the no- broker option. You will get a better deal as the seller will not have to pay a broker so even more room to negotiate. Any difficult question you would review with your lawyer, not your broker.
But if you really feel you MUST have a broker (and you really don't) you should do what makes you comfortable- you are the customer!
Good luck!

bfried, FSBO may be a fine option for many, but these are buyers, not sellers. plus they're buying from out of town so it's not so easy to look on their own. i think in their situation a broker is a pretty good idea, maybe not absolutely necessary but i'd certainly hire one under the circumstances.

If they are from out of town, they ought to use a broker, and yes they should switch.

It's just like any breaking up or firing, unpleasant at the moment, but so much better than the alternative. Tell him it's not working out, you're going to go in a different direction.

I agree with Maly. It's short, sweet, and professional. I'm not a broker, but it seems like in this economy he would wine and dine you to get the business.

Tell your broker you don't want to work with her anymore and then work with the guy you like. The awkwardness will be between those two, not you.

Heck, just break up with him for the make-up listing. Scorching.... Hot.

Thanks for all the prompt feedback. I'm delighted to have everyone's support. I also find it comforting to know that passive aggressiveness is a common trait for brokers, and that we were not just unlucky.

Is severe ADHD another common trait for realtors in the city? We were shocked the the Psycho had a ridiculously illogical "schedule" for us on the one day we were in town, full of geographical backtracking, double bookings and non-confirmations. Plus, he or she (I haven't yet revealed gender) had not previewed any of the places we saw: one apartment looked like a crackhouse and another had been in a fire two days before.

We do know the city very well and it is tempting to just use streeteasy to locate properties of interest, but we do really need someone to check out places for us in advance. Before we contact the new guy, though, I'd be interested to hear opinions about whether it's a lousy idea to purchase a pied a terre in this market.

I think it just depends on how much you intend to use it and how long you want to hang onto it. If you're just using it every couple of months, corporate housing or month-to-month furnished rentals are probably the cheaper option. If you plan on staying in the city 6 months out of the year and are essentially splitting your time between here and somewhere else, then maybe it makes more sense. It doesn't seem likely that the city will experience the appreciation it saw before the housing market collapse again any time soon, so if it's something you're just going to hang onto for three years and expect to sell at a 20% profit, probably not a wise move. If you plan on hanging onto it for eight or ten years or longer, you're probably going to be fine. I'll get reamed a new one for saying that, but I do believe the New York market has seen the declines it's going to see and that as we work through the recovery it will eventually pick up again.

Just say what you want to spend, where you want to live and let the experts on this site come up with suggestions

I say look for an alcove studio on the UES. Those are nice and you can get a nice one for $400K. (maybe I'm projecting my own desire onto you!)

The only way to learn about what neighborhoods you’d like to live in is to spend some time waling around in them. A broker can’t help you do that.

We live out of state and have been looking for a pied a terre for over two years. Only real problem that we have encountered is that occasionally, rarely an apt that you would like to see gets an offer before you can arrange to see it. Again, nothing here that a broker can help you do.

Early on we alternated between using a “buyers” broker to take us around and found similar psycho brokers as you have.

The cardinal rule is that nyc borkers will lie, say anything that pops into their heads, lie, cheat, lie, steal, lie, do anything to get on your good side.

Use Streeteasy and arrange appoints by area and what day and time you want to be there. The listing broker will meet you at the building. Just don’t get too friendly.

Wow. Anyone whose strategy for getting on your good side is to "lie, say anything that pops into their heads, lie, cheat, lie, steal, lie" really must be psycho.

Playing devil's advocate.... This sounds like a lot of work for a broker whose clients are unsure whether they even want to buy a pied-a-terre. Not sure the OP will find many brokers who are willing to put in the time on this one, especially if looking for a studio/one bed at the lower end of the market.

This is one of many times in real estate where I feel like paying someone on an hourly basis would yield better results. Maybe there is a broker who'd be willing to do it?

OP, you have an absolute right to change brokers.

But lad is right: Brokers can't give 120% service to everyone.

For example, a broker's ability to "preview" is going to be limited by factors besides his or her own availabilty: the availability of the listing broker, whether the apartment is tenanted (in which case the listing broker has limited access and is not going to waste time on previews), the market segment the apartment is in (it's always easier to preview apartments that cost more $$ and/or are in a slowly-moving market segment), the speed of the client's need to move, and the relationship with the listing broker.

That last is important -- with each other broker, I can only claim so many "emergencies."

So a client in OP's self-described situation -- someone who has been searching for several months and is still unsure about whether to purchase or in ieb's situation -- looking for two years -- is probably not a client most brokers are going to waste previews on.

If OP really wants the service of feeling that the appointments have been prescreened, best to pick a micro-neighborhood and then work with a broker who knows the inventory in that neighborhood cold -- for example, Beth Chase for central Greenwich Village.

ali r.
DG Neary Realty

switch brokers and just don't look at anything he showed you.
if you go back and buy something he showed you its on the broker in the office to negotiate his portion of the fee.
just make sure the guy doesn't interject himself back into the process when and if you do.
i wouldn't be scared to tell the guy your not a match and you want to work with another guy in the office either.
if the guy tweaks out on you then just call his boss.

hope this helps.

take yourself out of the out of town/suburban mindset and do it yourself via this site.

ieb's situation -- looking for two years -- is probably not a client most brokers are going to waste previews on.

This is exactly what I mean. Do it yourself!

how many people with suburban mindsets can recognize talking heads lyrics?

Thanks, everyone. I'm grateful that you don't think I'm too dumb or too suburban, and especially like the idea of the "make-up listing." Also makes sense that we can't expect "previewing" (especially because we're considering three neighborhoods). However, if I were a realtor, I would gladly do that for my out-of-town clients, if it meant I could get the sale.

ieb, are you looking in just one area?