Kids in the hallways?

That was one of my favorite teevee shows in the 1990s. Even though it's Canadian.

Check your building rules. My building does not permit this. You are within your rights to speak to the building manager about it. You could speak dirtily to your neighbor but i'm not sure this is the best course of action. It can get personal. It depends on the relationship you ave with your neighbor. My building prefers that all complaints come through the office. This helps maintain harmony.

LOL - dirtily = directly!!! Hope that was the spell-check and not me!!!

The neighbor is a board member and I don't want this held against me if I need approval for renovations!

Complain through the office and ask that your name be withheld. I lived in a building where a group of people ran for the Board because they resented fines for their kids playing in the hallway. They didn't get elected and the people resenting the children in the hallways stepped up their complaints. Apparently, these un-neighborly people started setting up play equipment in the hallways and leaving bikes in the hallways. Those who objected started calling the fire department and the Board passed on the resulting fines to the wrong doers on their maintenance bill. They put a lien on their apartments if they left the fines unpaid for over 3 months.

I should add that the house rules included set fines for violations. The fire department fines were separate "real money" since the building was fined.

I'm going to disagree with many posters here and say talk to your neighbor first. If you indicate what's bothering you (the noise? the fact that scattered toys create an obstacle course? the visitors that you don't know in the common spaces?) I'm sure you can come to some kind of reasonable accomodation. I would reserve complaining to management as an escalation, not a first step.

ali r.
{downtown broker}

jelj13, VERY INTERESTING !!!!
goes to show, one can gain VERY GOOD ADVICE and knowledge from these boards...

I would've never thought about this strategy...

front_porch is trying to keep things professional... But I think the person with this problem is trying to look for ways of resolving this ANONYMOUSLY... Once you go directly to the offending party, you will have no way of keeping yourself anonymous.

Need more context.
1) What neighborhood is this in?
2) What is the ballpark value of the apartments?
3) When was the last time your apartment was renovated?
4) Is the woman in question a single mom or does she have a husband, partner, etc.? How big is he? How big are you / your spouse?
5) How long have you lived in New York and where did you come from originally?

It's always better to rent than to own.

I'm disagreeing with Ali here. The more professional route is to complain to the management company. That's what you pay them for; to MANAGE the building. If it's a chronic problem, the management will then alert the board as a whole to the problem.

Now you've got the entire board on the same page, as opposed to trying to track down board members piecemeal one at a time (if you're lucky), AND you maintain your anonymity.

It's a win-win for both sides, really.

I had a person who set up a basketball net between the two light fixtures at the end of the hallway. They were using a tennis ball to practice. I was taking a shower on the other side of that wall and the noise was horrendous. I got dressed and went out and spoke to the people politely telling them we had a children's playroom with basketball nets. They cursed me out and told me they had to access the playroom via a staircase. They also had a 2 wheeler bike out and grandma was trying to teach another kid how to ride. Since he fell down repeatedly, the pedals tore the wallpaper in several areas. I took photos and sent them to the managing agent. They were billed for the wallpaper repair and fined for violation of the house rules.

I would prefer not to speak directly to the neighbor - I'm not sure what the reaction will be and I don't want it to have a negative effect on our friendly neighbor relationship. What's interesting is that when I had my board interview, there was a lot of talk about being respectful of your neighbors when it comes to noise, parties, etc. Sure this child isn't yelling and screaming in the hallways at 11pm, but it is, in my mind, disrespectful to ones neighbors to have your child running up and down the halls in the morning before I leave for work and in the evenings when I return home. I will contact the management company

It's a perfect example of how rights and responsibilities go hand in hand. The right to the peaceful enjoyment of our living space is dependent on us extending the same consideration to others. Sadly, some people just don't see it this way... Speak to the management company and exert your rights. They should listen and take your concerns seriously.

It's a perfect example of how rights and responsibilities go hand in hand. The right to the peaceful enjoyment of our living space is dependent on us extending the same consideration to others. Sadly, some people just don't see it this way... Speak to the management company and exert your rights. They should listen and take your concerns seriously.

People who will allow their children to do this are not people one can reason with anyway, so of course you take the complaint to the managing agent first.

A nice, however to the point letter explaining the noise from kids playing, riding bikes etc in the hallway is disturbing you, tape it to their mailbox. State you prefer to handle it this way, however if it continues you will have to write a letter to the board and managing agent. Like I said, keep it friendly, maybe a "I know it's difficult having children in small NYC apartments...."

Keith Burkhardt
TBG

I should add "anonymous" letter.

>>I'm sure you can come to some kind of reasonable accomodation<<< Sorry, Ali, but you are wrong here. There is no 'reasonable accommodation' when it comes to breaking house rules. As someone already mentioned, most co-op bylaws include language prohibiting children from playing in 'public' areas, such as hallways, lobby, stairwells, etc. Board member or no, rules are rules. Best thing to do is to contact mgmt about this. Unless you are the only other tenant on your floor it is not likely your neighbor will know who complained. Keep in mind the noise is also likely disruptive to those living below.

"People who will allow their children to do this are not people one can reason with anyway, so of course you take the complaint to the managing agent first."

BINGO!!!

Don't even TRY to talk to parents these days about their kids; their precious snowflakes can NEVER do wrong.

Once again, NYCMatt is absolutely correct. Parents universally believe their children can do no wrong and will say that they have the right to "stretch their legs" because of living in apartments without yards. If the parents want their kids to run wild, they should purchase a home with a back yard. If they can't afford to do this in NYC, then they should move out of town. By the way, I CAN'T STAND curtain climbers. Sorry, just telling the truth.

i have two small children, and i wouldn't let them play in the hallways. if i did, i would understand if people complained and would accommodate. my guess is your neighbor just doesn't think this bothers anybody (or they would have already heard complaints). if you want to be anonymous, just slip a note under their door.

Listen to me...
Got those renovations on the way. Get going, get approved, live with the disturbance until all systems are go.
Then and only then address the issues associated with you "board member" neighbor. Some Board members can be fair impartial peeps with only everyone's best interests at heart and some are psychotic power hungry petty malcontents.
Once you construction is underway, follow Keith's advice but tape the note to the apartment door.
DO NOT TAPE OR PUT ANYTHING IN THE MAIL BOX!!!
The mail box is the express property of the US postal service and the owner of the box. You would be in violation of a federal law just by slipping a note into it. If you want something in the mail box it must go via the US Postal service.
I point this out because if you thought your neighbor was a reasonable person you could just mention that the kids playing in the hall is an auditory disturbance and the situation would be instantly resolved.
The kid probably just likes playing in the hall and the mom loves the noise break. She probably doesn't even realize the potential for disturbance. Begin construction, make your own noise prior to dampening down the kid noise. The kid will eventually grow up, you might have to get a city permit for EVERYTHING you ever wanted to do in your apartment.

Good luck OP, and by all means listen to Falcongold. I could not have said it better.

correction; falcogold1. Sorry for the s/p.

When I was a kid in Manhattan, once you passed the aged of 6 you were allowed to go play OUTSIDE. There were always other kids from the block hanging out and the older ones looked after the younger ones. Plus there were usually a few older people hanging out on the stoops. Can you imagine today's urban parents letting there kids go outside to play without direct supervision. And of courses ironically, the crime rate was probably higher then (mid-60s) than it is now. But we never were allowed to play in the halls, running up and down the steps was verboten as well and got stern words from multiple adults.

NativeRestless -- those were the days, indeed.

Come on, its just a kid (unless she has toys all over the hallway) so let it slide. It is definitely annoying but its not that the kid is playing from 6 am till 11 pm. If it bothers you so much during morning, just suggest to the neighbor if the kid can delay till 10 or 11 am in the morning so that you are out of the way at work.

I have noticed that a lot of people who do not have kids in the city have no tolerance for kids and often compare their pets as if they are children.

http://tinyurl.com/py4psbs

Keith B is correct. Write an anonymous letter and slip it under their door. There is no reason to embarrass anyone other than that resident. If that does not do it, write or call the management company and tell them to keep your name out of it.

I have noticed that a lot of people who do not have kids in the city have no tolerance for kids"

And that is our right.

We are all entitled to the QUIET enjoyment of our apartments. If you want to let your children run wild, move into a house where you're not sharing the walls, floors, and ceilings with other residents.

Any update on the kids?