Manhattan Prime Up 37.3% YTY, 114% post glut cover/implementation of "new" safety building codes

If you watch ESPN news, or bump into your office's pathetic stat geek, observe that these number crunchers always seem to be the last people you'd expect to succeed at coordinated physical exertion. Same goes for real estate forecasting (read: speculation with numbers isolated out of context, but still...speculation) This decade sucked for Gotham. It started off by tickling our nuts with the tail... [more]

If you watch ESPN news, or bump into your office's pathetic stat geek, observe that these number crunchers always seem to be the last people you'd expect to succeed at coordinated physical exertion. Same goes for real estate forecasting (read: speculation with numbers isolated out of context, but still...speculation) This decade sucked for Gotham. It started off by tickling our nuts with the tail end of an IT bubble orgy which blue-balled, followed by tragic events downtown. We experienced a blackout, a transit strike, a couple of shitty winters, and the ideological smugness of 3rd world Boston. All arrows pointed down, but thankfully with the popularity of Sex and The City, young, slightly obese 20 somethings from Upper Saddle River to Paris forced their parents to anchor their fancies of gluttonous excess in a shoddy walkup they pretended to afford on their own via their plebeian publishing jobs to nowhere, all for the sake to claim under Anna Wintour's umbrella, albeit indirectly. In 2004, despite the series' cessation, pandemonium was thwarted by the rumored promise of an upcoming movie. The time between the show's conclusion and the commencement of the SATC movie in 2008, placed the city in a diffident trance. Articles began to repeat themselves, asking if we were nearing the end of a bubble. Parents, not wanting to disappoint their newly transplanted chubby trustafarians marched on and paid higher rents until pudgy little Jane could get her SATC movie fix. In May 30, 2008 Sex and the City the Movie outsold theaters worldwide. The blitzkrieg of moviegoers symbolized the last attempt at irresponsible gluttony. Sadly, the movie was met with mild reviews, gaining a mere 5.4 user review from the imdb community. What happened next was all too evident. Parents pulled their hogs from the city and back to Dayton, crippling landlords and muting their indulgences, leading to conservative low transaction portfolios, and clearly the destruction of brokerage houses citywide and one half of MePa. Battered and bruised, in true native New York fashion (all 3 of us), we however find the silver lining. Justin Timberlake has closed on a unit in Tribeca. The salivating spark of resurgence in beefy Jane from Dayton to exploit lower city rents to Mom will be met with agreement born out of guilt for her own daughter. Included in Jane's proposal will also be the fact that Whitney from The Hills will be having her own spinoff entitled "The City" to tape in Manhattan. The hungry hippo that she is, Jane will give no light mention of Top Chef's new season to be taped where else but the Apple. Google's recently expanded footprint would put this bovine amongst the best of the growing creative class in the city. She always knew the Silicone boys preferred our Chelsea younglings. Unfortunate that she's invisible to either sex despite her Lambertson Truex clutch, stuffed with self-denial and emotional co-dependency. The soon to be aired Housewives of New Jersey will showcase a first ever mass influx of reverse commuters who will reside in Manhattan, but choose to hob-knob in Ridgewood, Montclair, and for the daring, Alpine. With the tripling of the Empire State Film Production Tax Credit, the cattle of plain Janes throughout the world will be sure that future glamorous projects such as SATC the movie will continue to thrive in the city, all the more making their case to Mom to come back to Manhattan all the more tangible. With the departure of financiers, Jane can be sure that the rest of her herd won't be publicly taunted as the new social and economic model intensifies to the point where she not only is openly accepted into the city's fabric, but she becomes the new majority. With lowered housing prices in the city, she'll start to think that maybe now's the time to buy. But Dayton Jane should have predicted, er speculated, that it would have been better to have bought during the peak, as the one sure thing worth less than her soon to be lower priced condo, is her comparative US dollar. [less]